Intentions

I have this weird thing going on where I think about doing certain things over and over but never actually convince myself to take the time to do these things. I have been meaning to catch up with my best friends for months, been meaning to blog here since the end of the school year, to whittle down my to-do lists, and to call my long lost sister. But hey, I've been burnt.

Intentions: got a lot of them but have not been acting on a whole lot of them. Medical school seems to drain the life out of me at times. Lately, I have been trying to convince myself that this is just how it has to be right now and that I need to just accept this. No money to travel, no time to visit friends, no western geography to play and conquer, and too much neuroanatomy to learn. Even this summer seems to have been focused on this medical school process and I am told that this was my last summer "off" as there are boards and clinicals in the upcoming summer months.

My ladyfriend has tried to drill the verb "should" out of my vocabulary. This is in an effort to stay in the moment, to stay balanced and healthy, and to not to commit to more than you are capable of....
our fridge even has a small piece of paper on it that reads,
"I am relaxed and centered. I have plenty of time for everything."

I think this is a good lesson. I still think I need to act on some of these intentions as I spend more time thinking about them than they would take to accomplish.

Looks like I will start blogging a little more again.
cheers

Drunk on medical trivia

How I feel right now.

stupid. incapable. clumsy. Only wish it was for the same reasons as this guy.

insightful, I know. Your welcome.

1 day left.

And now, an email from my wonderful ladyfriend....

My girlfriend came home a bit disgruntled at lunchtime while I was studying. She is a counselor at a nonprofit, mental health center. I guess she sorted it out.Here is her email to me and a couple friends:

Today was my adventure on the ACT team. (ACT is designed for our toughest,most challenging clients.) Adventure Wednesdays is what I should call it. I had an initially challenging day. I talked to the ACT team supervisor at the end of it. I had told her I was struggling with giving a shit, how much money is wasted on people, that we are crippling clients and making them dependent. I was on my own high horse of what I thought would be better. She smiled and remarked that I must have needed my meditation time today (an APS group was in the room during the normal meditation wed. hour group I lead). As my supervisor left the office just now she handed me a book by the Buddhist nun Pema Chodron, a book she said she read when she was feeling a bit fried. And so I opened the book and this is what came to me from the page and I wanted to pass on the cleansing power:

"Acknowledge what is without judging it as right or wrong. Let it go and come back to the present moment. Whatever comes up, see what is without calling right or wrong.

Acknowledge it. See it clearly without judgment and let it go. Come back to the present moment. From now until the moment of you death, you could do this. As a way of becoming more compassionate toward yourself and towards others, as a way of becoming less dogmatic, prejudiced, determined to have your own way, absolutely sure that you are right and the other person is wrong, as a way to develop a sense of humor about the whole thing, to lighten up, you could do this. You could also begin to notice when ever you find yourself blaming others or justifying yourself. If you spent the rest of your life just noticing that and letting it be a way to uncover the silliness of the human condition- the tragic yet comic drama that we all continually buy into- you could develop a lot of wisdom and a lot of kindness as well as a great sense of humor."

Cheers to all of you in my very own drama, thanks for letting me play a small part in yours.

I wish you and myself open hearts as we continue living this moment, this day, this life.

2 days left. Can't decide if I want time to slow down or speed up!

Can't wait to sleep more too. lack of sleep is not good.

How about 3 weeks worth of sleep deprivation?

Hope this does not happen to me on exam friday.

One 8 hour exam vs. me....then summer. ahh. breathe.

Jack Hammers and BacT

Why is it that everyplace I go to jam for these finals is accompanied by large machinery and jackhammers? Can't a brother get some BacT in without repeated hammering? My school's library has been inundated with construction for the past 6 months so I escaped to my local public library. Guess what? There is a massive large beast of a backhoe with a 4 ft jackhammer breaking up the parking lot right out my window. I could probably high5 the guy from my seat if I wanted. AHHH! Can't the world just stop for a while so that this self-centered medical student can catch up and focus on his upcoming finals? It is not looking good at this point.

Oh, and what about studying at home? Even worse than jackhammers lately. My new upstairs "neighbor" at our apartment likes to come home after a long day of doing whatever it is that he does, and blast "soft and easy"classics really loud for several hours. Awesome. I did not even know people actually liked this music. Well, he is a nice guy, so that's all that matters at this point.

Enough whining.

NOW you tell me...

Long time no bloggie.
Too busy with the wrap up of school and moving apartments. I will be blogging again soon.

Fun to be torturing myself for this...


and in honor of pathology and bacT I am having to study...

so great.

2 more weeks and year 1 is done. over. 25% done.
d

Stop Stealing Doctors!

http://www.latimes.com/news/opinion/la-oew-karr14mar14,0,3153798.story


I saw Ray Rickman, Co-Founder & President of the NGO Adopt A Doctor, speak today at my medical school about an interesting phenomenon: doctor stealing. Apparently, the U.S., Britain, Canada, and several other developed countries recruit doctors from poor countries to deal with their own doctor shortages, leaving practically no one to care for their home communities.

He (and his one other admin. volunteer) is trying to encourage foreign doctors from poor countries to stay in their home communities to take care of their local populations. He does this by sending them a small monthly stipend to lift the doctors, themselves, out of poverty so they have the energy and willpower to stay home and work hard for the sick. Many of these doctors are foreign trained and are able to leave at anytime to work in other countries and increase their income from around $800/year to over $100,000/year abroad. The doctors that choose to stay are amazing people and choose to serve their people, despite living in poverty with their families. Adopt A Doctor merely supplements their meager income in exchange for a contractual agreement to stay in their home communities for 7 years. Last year, the organization only spent $1000 on admin costs so you can be assured that most of the money you donate will go straight to these doctors.

Learn more and consider donating to Adopt A Doctor @ http://www.adoptadoctor.org/
or contact me as we are doing a fundraiser.


One other solution to this problem is ensuring that the United States has enough medical school spots to fullfill its own needs and meet the number of residency slots we have available....

Wait?! What?! Thats what Osteopathic schools around the country are doing right now? New schools? Expanding the number of doctors and emphasizing primary care? Well, who knew...

More articles:


http://www.nytimes.com/2005/10/27/international/27brain.html?_r=1&oref=slogin


http://www.bmj.com/cgi/content/full/325/7355/65/a